'AITA for defending my boss in front of her family?': Corporate worker deflects lies about her boss at family dinner, and it makes things awkward

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Apr 3, 2023 3:00 PM EDT

One woman wrote about her experiences at an awkward family dinner that she had with her boyfriend, his family, and… her boss. 

The writer explained that her boyfriend's cousin Nora is her boss. They work together at a "prestigious" corporate job, where Nora is celebrated for her leadership. The OP and her boss ended up at a family event together, and the OP drops an interesting tidbit. Apparently her boyfriend doesn't like Nora for some unspecified reasons. And when their family had a get together, the boyfriend, James, and his father began asking about Nora's work reputation. 

The OP seemed surprised to hear that, since she'd only had good experiences at the company so far. In the comments, people let the OP know that she had better ask her boyfriend some important questions about Nora to figure out why there's bad blood between them. 

Next, check out these hilarious texting fails. 

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  • 01
    Human body - r/AmItheAsshole Posted by u/Honorable-Tortoise46 AITA for defending my boss in front of her family?
    via u/Honorable-Tortoise46
  • 02
    Font - I (24F) recently got a corporate job at a very prestigious company. I worked very hard to get where I am now, and I'm very proud of myself to be honest.
    via u/Honorable-Tortoise46
  • 03
    Font - My boyfriend of 3 years (I'll name him James - 28M) is my boss' ( Let's call her Nora - 36F) cousin (he has a completely different line of work). I haven't seen Nora outside of work much (Even at work, I don't see her a lot because she is at the very top of the hierarchy and I don't have a lot of work that directly needs her attention - but everyone agrees that she is an awesome boss). That changed when James' uncle (Nora's dad) invited the whole family including James and I over to his h
    via u/Honorable-Tortoise46
  • 04
    Font - Obviously, Nora, her wife and kids were there as well. She didn't make a big deal out of being my boss and I felt super comfortable in the family environment. Everyone was initially very sweet. Over dinner, James' dad asked me how hard Nora was on us at the company. He said he'd heard about how she made everyone work overtime and was horrible to be around.
    via u/Honorable-Tortoise46
  • 05
    Font - Nora is exactly the opposite of that. I don't have a lot of experience but she is the kindest, most inspiring boss one could wish for. She works double all of her employees and never makes anyone feel like they're being taken advantage of. She appreciates everyone's efforts and that's why everyone at work is actually happy to work overtime and help her with stuff.
    via u/Honorable-Tortoise46
  • 06
    Font - I told James' dad exactly all this. He didn't like the answer but I could tell Nora and her wife were loving it. And I added that despite not having a lot of experience, I was more than happy to work in the same company as Nora did. The conversation ended there. I thought that was the end of the story.
    via u/Honorable-Tortoise46
  • 07
    Font - On the way back, James asked me what the actual F was going on because I totally humiliated his dad in front of the whole family. He said his dad liked teasing Nora and it wasn't personal and I should have just avoided the question and ignored that.
    via u/Honorable-Tortoise46
  • 08
    Font - I said I honestly don't get how I humiliated him. James hasn't talked to me ever since and thinks I owe his dad an apology. I asked me colleagues and they all agrees that it was absolutely ridiculous to criticise Nora as a boss like that in the first place. James and his family clearly disagree. AITA?
    via u/Honorable-Tortoise46
  • 09
    Font - TM/L pluhgeh Parta bant [1] NTA when someone asks you a question how the h should you know that there is only one acceptable answer? Also are they actually expecting you to talk trash about your boss in front of her?? If her dad likes to humiliate her that's his BS, but he and others can't actually expect that you do the same. Also don't ask questions if you don't want to hear a genuine answer to it. You did nothing wrong. Stick to yourself.
    via u/pluhgeh
  • 10
    Font - [deleted] Agreed. One question I think OP should be digging into a little further is why James doesn't like Nora (and why his Dad likes to put her down). Because I suspect OP might not like what she finds out there.
    via u/deleted
  • 11
    Font - FR marvel_nut Your BF's dad owes OP an apology, for putting her on the spot with an utterly inappropriate attempt to try to draw her into the tasteless "teasing" of her boss. I mean - talk about putting a junior employee on the spot!
    via u/marvel_nut
  • 12
    Font - This is apart from the fact that this kind of "teasing" is intrinsically awful anyway. Who is supposed to find this funny, exactly, and why? I can only surmise the reason for James and his Dad wanting to go after Nora for some perceived assertiveness or whatever, and it starts with "homo" and ends with "phobia". Tread carefully, OP - don't apologize, and don't step on the red flags James scattered in your path like rose petals.
    via u/marvel_nut
  • 13
    Font - Wearily Nice That and OP's boyfriend is not standing up for OP when his Dad was clearly trying to humiliate her too.
    via u/WearilyNice
  • 14
    Font - eregyrn You're neither a mind reader nor someone who should do other's bidding for their amusement. She's also not someone dumb enough to trash-talk her BOSS right in front of said boss. James's dad, AND James, owe OP an apology just for that -- for trying to bait her into doing something that could have negative repercussions on her JOB. That's nuts.
    via u/eregyrn
  • 15
    Font - PeaUpbeat3732 Asshole Enthusiast [5] NTA - you were made to be a part of some kind of inside joke that you weren't aware of. And even if you were aware, that doesn't mean you need to play along. Also, I don't know what James's problem is, but his suggestion of just ignoring his father and/or refusing to answer a question is ridiculous. Your partner's father asks you a question about something that you know intimately, and you are supposed to look him in the face and not respond? James is
    via u/PeaUpbeat3732

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humiliation boyfriend boss aita corporate work stories embarrassed family
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